I’m squirming so much in my seat I’m surprised the teacher hasn’t asked me if I’ve got ants in my pants. I’m in eight grade English class and my garter is digging into my thighs. My legs feel like they’re sausages thanks to the hose I’m forced to wear.
Sigh. It wasn’t always like this. I think back to the carefree days of wearing bobby socks with my skirts, even in the depths of winter. No pants allowed for girls. But when I got to junior high school the garter belts and girdles came out.
It’s hard to imagine anyone thinking garters are sexy when you’ve spent eight hours a day, five days a week through several school years trying to find a position that doesn’t hurt. When I get home and take them off, I have impressions in my skin where the garters have dug in.
My garter belts were purely of utilitarian design; the touch
of satin ribbon here is quite the embellishment.
One Saturday, I’m singing in the school choral program. It’s dark outside and everybody is in the car, ready to go. I’m struck by a moment of rebellion and run into the small bathroom off the kitchen and strip the offending garters and stockings off, stashing them in the pantry. Ahhh, the relief. I throw on my coat and dash out the back door.
I’m not even at the foot of the stairs before my mother is out of the car, hollering at me to go put the garter belt and hose back on.
Really? My mother appears to have preternatural sight. I sullenly oblige, sure nobody at the concert would notice anyway.
I'm proud to say I'm old enough to remember the introduction of pantyhose. The first designs were pretty bad but girls across the country threw out their garters and hose and seized upon these miracle workers. Now, at first they over stretchy; one could pull up the waistband until it was nearly at your throat. Some styles got runs too easily, others bragged their styles had no runs. Well, maybe no runs, but huge holes that would expand over the course of the day.
Regardless, they were a vast improvement over the wretched garter belt.
I'm heartened today by seeing many women who wear no hose at all. Hooray!
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